A day in the life of a dunce

This is not a morale-boosting post. If anything, it bursts the bubble of my vanity. Okay, here we go.

This is one of those things that you always feel happens to other people, “Not me, I am so…” So what? So what, exactly?

I recently realized that I am not so anything! Can you imagine what happened that led me into thinking this? Well it is simple – I wore my bathroom slippers to work. No, not intentionally, don’t be silly! I am not such a dunce! But I am dunce enough to not notice that I am wearing bathroom slippers and walk out of the house, and … wait, let me do this properly.

Ms. Manjusha (that’s me!) takes her bath and comes out of the bathroom, dresses, combs her hair, makes her kid wear his uniform, ties his show-laces, says “ba-byee” to 3 people in the house, walks to the bus stop, boards the bus to her office, rides on the bus, gets off the bus, walks to her building. And, this is when she notices that she’s wearing bathroom slippers! Oh, tragedy!

I am surprised that throughout this whole time, I never looked at my feet! I can only pray that no one else did either! I suddenly had a flash of memory (thank god) of Shilpa (a colleague) saying she always keeps a spare pair of footwear. So change of plans, about turn and forward march to Shilpa’s building instead, praying all the time that she does have that spare-pair she told me about last year!

First problem – elevator! The moving box - it’s such a boring place, no? I always find myself looking at people’s feet in the elevator. What else to distract myself with? I can’t look at their faces, that would be so, so, oh I don’t know – inappropriate? “I am just checking you out ‘coz I am bored.” Now that is terrible! So my problem is this now – won’t other bored specimens in the elevator look at the collection of feet in there, and catch me wearing – yeah, right – bathroom slippers! Now is when I fully appreciated the beauty of having a laptop. Laptop? Yup, you read right. Yours truly inconspicuously moves to the back of the elevator, and plants the laptop bag in front of her feet. Graceful move – ten on ten.

Okay problem one over. Now walking to Shilpa’s cubicle and wondering if her footwear will fit me. Srija, who’s been walking with me from the bus, finds it extremely funny, and laughs at me like a true friend. She says, “Even if it is a little small or big, you’ve got to manage for the day somehow, because you cannot move around in the office with these!” She points to my slippers. Yes, point taken.

Okay, so we get to Shilpa’s cube, and there she is. I say in a low voice, “Shilpa, do you have a spare pair of footwear? You told me that you keep a pair in office, just in case.”
“Oh, yes. Why? What hap..” and that’s when she sees my feet. Okay she laughed. She said “Bravo, Manju!” Everyone in the vicinity came to take a look. This company needs to keep their tech-writers busy! What are they doing wasting time looking at people’s feet, anyway? :-\

So all of them have a good morning laugh and wake up properly. As for me, I was wide-awake ever since my eyes fell on the wretched slippers (Oh they are so horrible, you’ve got to see to believe). “Anything, would be better than these.” Srija’s words.

But the worst is not over yet – Shilpa turns around and takes out a pair of, hold your breath, red slip-ons. Red, OMG, red! And I was wearing a beige-gray outfit, what a lovely combination it would be! But what choice do beggars have?

So I take the red slip-ons and try them, almost my size, just slightly big. That’s when I noticed Shilpa’s footwear – beige. And she was wearing a beige outfit with red flowers. So I say, “Shilpa, why don’t you wear the red and give me the pair you are wearing.” You have to admire my shamelessness at this point. She’s like, “I don’t want to.”
*sigh* And I go “Please, it will go with your dress. Look at how I am dressed, the footwear will stand out.” With my footwear though, it was a mystery why the guard hadn’t asked me to stand out.

To cut a long story short, everyone in the cubicle thought Shilpa could manage with the red pair (bless them!) and she agreed to exchange (she is sweet!). And thus I became the proud wearer of the beige footwear, a tad loose, but quite presentable!

Needless to say, it was a big blow to my confidence. “How can I be so…”
Yes, now I know I can be all that and more. I am human, after all - growing older everyday. Blossoming into a forgetful, fretful, dunce!

Epilogue: Ms Manjusha has since thrown away the horrible bathroom slippers. She’s got herself a respectable pair of slippers for home-wear which wouldn’t result in a catastrophe if worn to work by mistake.